this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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