If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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