well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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