I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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