I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
