if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
