we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
