Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize