I smell stomach acid.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
