I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
