I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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