why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
