Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
