Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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