I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize