I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
