I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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