i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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