when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
