The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
