question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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