What a fucking waste of an outfit
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
