He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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