It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
