Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
