The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
