I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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