You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
