Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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