Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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