I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
