I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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