I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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