There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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