i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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