my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
