this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize