Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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