There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize