i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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