Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
