Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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