I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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