Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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