OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
