If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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