I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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