We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
