They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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