Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
