What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
