I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
