Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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