i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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