Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
