my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
